Welcome to the exciting website of Filmmaker Ian Hinck! [[Thanks.]] [[Who]]? (Click this for actual information.) <-- Also there's a back arrow that will appear on the left that can be helpful. You're welcome! How are you? [[I'm alright]]. [[I'm great]]! [[I'm terrible]]. [[I feel nothing]]. Wait, [[Who]] is Ian Hinck again?Ian Hinck, a filmmaker living in Los Angeles, known for projects like the kid's show [[Seedlings]] and the super not kid's show [[Mandatory Update]]. Also there have been some [[movies]], [[scripts]], [[shorts]], [[poems]], [[musical enterprises]], [[full cast radio plays]], and [[other stuff]] in there too. [[Thanks.]] Yeah, I mean, that's what Ian has done but WHO is Ian [[REALLY]]? Seedlings is a narrative show appropriate for all ages set within the world of a video game! You can check it out <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/SeedlingsShow" target="_blank">here!</a> [[Thanks.]] Return to [[Who]] Ian is.Mandatory Update is a crazy video game news show sort of like SNL's Weekend Update. It's over at <a href="http://www.gametrailers.com/shows/mandatory-update" target="_blank">Gametrailers!</a> [[Thanks.]] Return to [[Who]] Ian is.Ian has made and is always working on movies! Take an (embarrassing?) look back at a 60 minute thesis project from film school <a href="https://vimeo.com/16136305" target="_blank">here!</a> [[Thanks.]] Return to [[Who]] Ian is.Ian has written many scripts, including a feature western called The Father, a post apocalyptic loneliness fable called At Last, and an (as of yet unauthorized) adaptation of Vladimir Nabokov's Invitation to a Beheading! Also there are many short films, monologues, scene studies, a few plays, and at least two half started novels! [[Thanks.]] Return to [[Who]] Ian is.Ian has made a number of short films either as a director or an editor, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9UlmS4P-XY" target="_blank">Tender</a> (dir. Elric Kane, wr. Lee Ross) is a particular highlight, and the web-series <a href="http://hitmanning.com/" target="_blank">Hitmanning!</a> has its moments. O.o A few new short films are currently in the works! [[Thanks.]] Return to [[Who]] Ian is.Ian writes poetry from time to time. [[Pandora]] [[Siren]] [[Long Day]] Uh...[[Thanks.]] Return to [[Who]] Ian is.Ian's always up to something. Here's a music video Ian did with <a href="http://cargocollective.com/teddydief" target="_blank">Teddy Dief</a> that you should check out <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=et5I6Q1w_w8" target="_blank">right here!</a> [[Thanks.]] Return to [[Who]] Ian is.Well that's something. Could be worse I suppose. Um, what did you do today? [[I just got back from the dentist]]. [[Nothing much]]. Good to hear! It makes me happy that you're doing so well! [[Thanks.]] [[I realize that clicking that will just send me where I already was]].Oh no! I'm sorry to hear that. [[It's ok]]. [[I was just kidding I'm actually alright]].Well then you won't mind being sent [[here]] to the you-lose-the-site page! Pandora Faint whispers of times past Mingle with the ever louder echoes of recent pain Attempts in vain to hold at bay Cacophonous realms of possibility The endless avenues Of choice Of chance Of hope Of fear Enter in here and depart before bidden Ridding these frail thinkers of their agency And leaving only regret And wonder At what might have been Had different paths been chosen Different words spoken If the eyes had held in their pale frames Some other meaning More significant Or less Or none at all Had the call arrived moments sooner Footsteps quicker or slower Down the cracked tiles of those floors The noise is ceaseless now Choices long since passed Crashing like waves Irrelevant and yet so destructive Upon the waning facade of the sane mind Fragile visitors upon this Earth We sit and stare from our quiet booths At a world beyond controlling Beyond understanding As we marvel with endless fear At the silent uncaring continuation Of this universe [[Thanks.]] Or go back to [[poems]].Siren Two sallow caricatures I saw while dozing on the damp grass near the river I had nearly made them out when the distant ringing of a police siren stirred me back to a more real reality it felt like I had risen up through fog or dry water and regained myself or reasserted myself as I had been taught to by years of experience and practice in this life I tried then to recall the figures one tall perhaps and lean the other intangible as if made of mist I realized then that they had seen me there laying on the cool ground and had smiled at me as if to say hello I feel now as if they were me or aspects therein drifting past for my observation fragments of the whole that frigid ground and languid river time and place inseparable inclusive of these two and myself mind and body the reeds the grass the dark trees [[Thanks.]] Or maybe there are other [[poems]] you're interested in.Long Day It's the end of an endlessly long day And you're driving home through nightmare LA And Nils Frahm reaches a perfect fervor Right as a beautiful woman jogs past In what seems like slow motion And you almost start to cry Because you know you'll never be like her And the song has been building to this for nine minutes And your life for much longer And you feel like you have no one to turn to You wonder if it's the song making you think like this Or if you're somehow thinking the song Because it just fits so perfectly And you hope that it never ends But of course it does And you crest the hill shielding your eyes But the sun is lower than usual because you left late And it's later in the year And as you walk up to your apartment Something smashes on the ground next to you And you hear fighting on the second floor And you think I hope I've still got leftovers I can heat up [[Thanks.]] Or you can read some other [[poems]] if you want.Ian has loved music for many years and has been in several bands such as Dr. Survivor and the At Seas, The Closers, and The Evening Redness. Ian also makes music independently, some of which can be heard <a href="https://soundcloud.com/ian-hinck" target="_blank">on Soundcloud!</a> Also here's a video of Ian performing a cover of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUKB3cQgjsU&list=PLEwqVq_P2T7H0siv8gkA9JIWiib_Ed87r" target="_blank">A Kinks Song</a> and here's a video of an original song called <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rc5BhuORuA&list=PLEwqVq_P2T7H0siv8gkA9JIWiib_Ed87r" target="_blank">Basement.</a> [[Thanks.]] Return to [[Who]] Ian is.Who are any of us REALLY? [[Ha Ha]]. No but for real, tell me [[more]] about Ian Hinck!For real. We're all just collections of atoms slamming into each other and rushing around worrying about things that wont matter a thousand years from now, or probably even a thousand seconds from now. So really, who are any of us? Who [[AREN'T]] any of us? People are right, Ian Hinck is really [[pretentious]]. Uh, ok. Well Ian was born in Des Moines Iowa, moved to St. Croix Falls Wisconsin at the age of 1, then moved to Chicago at 18 for college at DePaul University. Ian first studied Acting at The Theatre School at DePaul then moved to the Digital Cinema department due to, let's just say, fate. After that a bunch of stuff happened including various jobs, friends, loves found and lost, a move to LA, some car trouble... you know, standard awesome life stuff. Ian likes dogs and doesn't like bugs. Ian likes trees and hates pollution. Ian likes being able to see the stars and doesn't like feeling lonely. Ian's favorite movies are The Princess Bride, Chinatown, Upstream Color, and like twenty other movies. Ian's favorite book is Blood Meridian. Ian thinks the best episode of Fringe is White Tulip. Ian likes Tom Waits. Ian knows you think Ian is a hipster. Ian is ok with that. Ian is avoiding using he or she on this website. Ian has to go to bed soon. Here's a picture of Ian Hinck: <img src="http://www.ianhinck.com/flowers.jpg" alt="With flowers in her hair" height="560" width="417"> [[Show me a sassier picture, in black and white, but with the same jacket]]. [[Thanks.]] Whoa. [[Totally]]. [[I know right]]?Yeah. It's true. I don't deny it. My senior quote in High School was an [[entire Franz Kafka story]]. How's that for pretentious! Now you've dead-ended yourself right into the fabulous [[Courtesy Page]]!Yeah. [[Nod]]. [[Stare off into the mid distance]].For real. What was the [[point]] of this site again?Yep. [[uh-huh]]. [[sniff]]. [[Stare off into the mid distance]].You see the mid distance. It is not quite as far away as the distant distance, but not so near as the near distance. There is something about this distance that makes you feel [[insecure]] but it is also [[comforting]] somehow...Oh, uh, this is the exciting website of filmmaker Ian Hinck, I guess... Want to go back to the [[Welcome]]? Or I guess you could go [[here]]...There's nothing on this page. You lose. You've lost the website. There's no way out. It's all over. Give up now. For real. Nothing here. Nobody but us chickens. This [[button]] just goes to a page that's exactly the same as this one. I don't know. Don't look at me... You're the one that got us into this mess. But I love you. There's nothing on this page. You lose. You've lost the website. There's no way out. It's all over. Give up now. For real. Nothing here. Nobody but us chickens. This [[button]] just goes to a page that's exactly the same as this one. I don't know. Don't look at me... You're the one that got us into this mess. But I love you. This mid distance... there's something strange about it... something unsettling... Something a little too close... but not close enough... and also somehow far... And it smells of lilacs, but not in a good way, the lilacs are somehow rotten, sickly. These are not the lilacs that perfumed the back patio of your parents' house, nor are they the sweet lilacs that remind you of your grandmother. No, these lilacs are the lilacs of ill-repute. Lilacs long dead, bringing with them not joy but fear and loss. As you stand there, staring into this horrid mid distance you realize that your nose is bleeding. You smell the blood before you feel it running down your face. The smell of the blood mixes with these damned lilacs and you wish you could run, but your coward feet will not move. You are rooted to the earth like those damned lilacs. Just then a terrible thought comes to you. A thought so outlandish and strange that it seems to come not from your own mind but from the impossible mouth of cruel fate. You look down at your hands, what you expect to be your hands, and your insane thought is proved true! The lilacs you are smelling, those evil deathly lilacs, are YOU. You are no longer a human being, you are a rotten gnarled ancient growth of lilacs. And you are trapped. You can not move. You can not speak. You simply stand, smelling the wretched stink of your twisted self. Your sap blood coursing too slowly through your nightmare veins. Tragically your mind is no less sharp. You are free to think, and dream, and speculate for all eternity. Hoping for a brush fire, or a farmer, or the choking death of mankind's polluted air to suffocate you out of this terrible prison. But you have no idea if the death of the plant would also mean your own merciful death. If the plant dies would you go with it? Or would you simply dry out, turn to dust, become the earth, still screaming in your filthy mind until the end of unforgiving time. Hard to say. I guess you'll have to wait and see. [[Thanks.]]The mid distance is the best kind of distance really. It's not so close as to be threatening but not so far as to be confusing. It's a comfortable distance. Free from the challenges of every day life. As you stare into this lovely distance you wonder what it would be like just to live there, to simply pack it all in and move to the mid distance. Just always be like forty to sixty feet from everything. Nothing could ever harm you. No one could ever get that good a look at you. You'd just be there. Hanging out in the mid distance. Being stared at by daydreamers and daytime actors and dime-store philosophers. Or do they stare PAST you? What would it be like, you wonder, to never really be seen again? To never be held? Understood? Loved? Part of you thinks it might be wonderful. A kind of freedom that no living person has ever experienced. But a larger, more rational part of you knows it would be a hell. A prison. You go to the mid distance anyway. Over time you realize your fears were correct, when you live in the mid distance you are always out of reach just as everything is out of YOUR reach. When someone stares at the mid distance you stare back, unable to close that gap, to make the connection, to open that refrigerator. All you want to do is get a glass of water or make a sandwich. Too bad! The fridge is forty to sixty feet away ALWAYS! You want to leave the mid distance. But how do you leave a place that is ALWAYS forty to sixty feet away from EVERY PLACE? You can't get anywhere when you're always forty feet from everywhere. This is a choice you've made and you can't unmake it. You can't walk backwards down this path. You crawled up onto the top bunk and your jerk cousin stole the ladder. You're stuck baby! Get used to it! But hey, at least you've got somewhere to stare. [[Thanks.]] Well this is getting us nowhere. How about this. Just click on this and go back to the [[Welcome]]. Does that sound ok to you? Otherwise I guess you could go [[here]] but if you go there you sort of lose.As you sniff you happen to smell turkey bacon wafting on the breeze. [[Go toward the turkey bacon]]. [[Go away from the turkey bacon]].You go toward the turkey bacon but it turns out to not be turkey bacon but REGULAR BACON! You die. [[I died]]?You go away from the turkey bacon and fall into a pit. It's very dark and you can't see anything. You think maybe there's something else in here with you. [[Light a match]] (you have a match with you.) [[Freak out]].Yeah. You died. Happens to everyone sooner or later. Sorry. [[Courtesy Page]]You light a match and see, cowering in the edge of the light, yourself. But you are dirty and much older. "Oh my god," the other you says. "It's me... oh no...." You're not sure what to make of this. You stare at yourself. "I've been here for years," the other you says. "There's no way out." You look around as the match flickers out and see what looks like strange white sticks on the ground, and several pairs of clothes that look exactly like the ones you are currently wearing. The match burns your fingers and you drop it quickly and put your aching fingers to your lips. There is a long silent pause. Then you hear movement. "There isn't any food down here either," the other you says. "I have to do what I have to do to stay alive." You aren't sure what you mean at first, then you realize that the white sticks were bones just as you feel other you's teeth sink into your neck and you die. For what its worth the other you is still alive. If you could call that living. [[Thanks.]] You freak out. Accomplishing nothing and something in the dark kills and eats you. [[Thanks.]]This is the Courtesy Page. I hope you are doing well. Here's Ian's <a href="https://twitter.com/ianhinck" target="_blank">Twitter.</a> Uh, that's it pretty much. [[Welcome]] This site was made with <a href="http://twinery.org/" target="_blank">Twine</a>! All the content is copyright Ian Hinck 2015. Thanks for visiting! <3 Oh? How'd you fare? [[My teeth are perfect]]! [[I had a cavity]].That's exciting. [[Yep]].Congrats! Probably because you floss. [[Probably]]. [[I don't floss]].You should floss. [[Yep]].Yep. [[Totally]]Well then I have no idea. They say flossing is the most important thing. Besides brushing I guess. Anyway teeth are important and it's good to take care of them. [[I agree]]. [[There are other more important things]].Nice. [[Yep]].Like what? [[Good diet]]. [[Having fun]].Sure thing. [[Totally]].I guess. I don't really care about food all that much. I like chicken kabobs though. Do you like chicken kabobs? [[Yes]]. [[No]].Hard to have fun if you don't have any teeth though. [[Good point]]. [[It's possible]].You are smart. Congratulations! You win this website (though you should start flossing.) Start over at the [[Welcome]] page. Or visit the very exciting [[Courtesy Page]]! Thanks for visiting Ianhinck.com!! Tell your friends!Oh, you don't like chicken kabobs? That's ok. Oh, [[here]] I found this nice page for you!Then we agree. [[Yep]].Now you're just being difficult. [[Sorry]]. [[I don't like you]].It's ok. I forgive you. [[Thanks]].Probably wise. Hey, go [[here]].True. [[I also noticed that in that page link the . is inside the link but on most of the other ones it is outside of the link]].That's true. I realized that too late and didn't feel like changing it. [[That's ok, I forgive you]]. [[You're lazy]].[[Thanks.]] Oh! Almost got me with that thanks, but [[I realize that clicking that will just send me where I already was]]!Sometimes. [[Courtesy Page]]:( [[:(]] Perhaps this, probably out of date by now, 10% off on [[PSN]] code would help?Well that's good to hear! I was just kidding again [[I'm terrible]]. [[Thanks.]] You really made me feel [[Welcome]] at your website. :( [[:(]] [[Yeah]].Well. I hope you feel better. [[Yep]].That's weirdly specific but ok: <img src="http://www.ianhinck.com/sassjacket.jpg" alt="sass for days" height="560" width="843"> [[Nice, show me another sassy picture but this time with Elyse Willems]]. [[Thanks.]]Ok, but last one. <img src="http://www.ianhinck.com/sass.jpg" alt="It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." height="480" width="640"> [[Happy now]]? [[Thanks.]]No? What would make you happy? [[A picture of Ian laughing with five dear friends]]. [[Nothing would make me happy]]. Oh, well then you're in luck! <img src="http://www.ianhinck.com/laughing.jpg" alt="My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return." height="540" width="960"> [[Thanks.]]I'm sorry to hear that. [[Yep]].Here's the code. I'm sure it doesn't work anymore if it's after 1-25-15. But who knows! And it's the American code. KF56EM5KB3 [[Thanks.]]A Little Fable by Franz Kafka "Alas," said the mouse, "the whole world is growing smaller every day. At the beginning it was so big that I was afraid, I kept running and running, and I was glad when I saw walls far away to the right and left, but these long walls have narrowed so quickly that I am in the last chamber already, and there in the corner stands the trap that I must run into." "You only need to change your direction," said the cat, and ate it up.{<html><style> body {background-color: #B60F2E;} #sidebar {display: none;} #passages {border-left: 0;} </style></html>Wait. Who let you in here? [[No one]]. [[I let myself in here]]. [[π]] {<html><style> body {background-color: #B60F2E;} #sidebar {display: none;} #passages {border-left: 0;} </style></html>Oh good. Well then, this must all just be some misunderstanding. You can leave now. [[Thanks.]]{<html><style> body {background-color: #B60F2E;} #sidebar {display: none;} #passages {border-left: 0;} </style></html>Aren't you industrious? I mean, it was the same as the rest of the site, just [[random]] links leading to random places.{<html><style> body {background-color: #B60F2E;} #sidebar {display: none;} #passages {border-left: 0;} </style></html>(set: $password to (prompt:"enter password")) (if: $password is not "BER5348833")[Incorrect password.] (if: $password is "BER5348833")[ Enter [[The Net]] ]{<html><style> body {background-color: #B60F2E;} #sidebar {display: none;} #passages {border-left: 0;} </style></html>Yes, but the background of these pages is kind of red... so that's exciting right? [[Very]]. [[Not really]].{<html><style> body {background-color: #B60F2E;} #sidebar {display: none;} #passages {border-left: 0;} </style></html>I agree. It's fun to stir things up sometimes. You know, as long as you don't go too far with it, as long as nobody gets hurt. [[Yep]].{<html><style> body {background-color: #5858FA;} #sidebar {display: none;} #passages {border-left: 0;} </style></html>Oh, well how's about this sort of purpley blue? You like that better? It makes it hard to see the links! A challenge! Exciting! [[I do]]. No, [[I don't like blue]].{<html><style> body {background-color: #5858FA;} #sidebar {display: none;} #passages {border-left: 0;} </style></html>Ok good. I am glad. Happy we could work that out. Uh. It's kind of a dead end here so how about I just put some links to other passages at random and you can go wherever you want. Sound nice? Ok cool [[No]] [[A picture of Ian laughing with five dear friends]] [[I know right]] [[sniff]] [[Nod]] [[poems]] [[My teeth are perfect]] {<html><style> body {background-color: #5858FA;} #sidebar {display: none;} #passages {border-left: 0;} </style></html>What? You don't like blue? Who doesn't like blue. It's one of the basic colors. Well, that's ok, different strokes for different folks as they say. I like blue. I like a darker blue than this though if I'm honest. But people are so rarely honest, you know what I mean? Sometimes it gets so I can't even tell if I'm being totally truthful myself. How can people trust each other when trusting oneself is so hard? Anyways, long story short blue is great and you're a sillypants. I'm sorry about that sillypants thing. It's ok if you don't like blue. I'm sure you've got your reasons. I used to really like orange but then I had a boss who was a real pile of garbage and he loved orange. Everything he had was orange. And now I associate orange with him. So it ruined this interesting color for me. But I'm getting over it. One day at a time. If I'm honest now again I'm sort of losing steam on this thread here and I've got to leave for a haircut. So I'm just going to send you back to the [[Welcome]] page.Yes, that was a reference to the movie The Net starring Sandra Bullock. That movie is hilarious and not really all that good. Anyway, you busted into a [[secret]] part of the website!! Wooo! It really bothers me that most of the best stuff on the site is down the "I don't floss" path. It kills me to reward people for not flossing, but sometimes we don't get what we want, even from ourselves, on our own websites, when we could just fix it pretty easily, but we don't. That's life. Seriously, flossing is REALLY important though. Please floss. It's gross not to floss. By way of reward for getting in here I guess I'll just tell you that it's been a rough few years. Life is pretty sad sometimes, circumstances can get really bad, but so far I've been able to remain positive. I am happy for the good experiences I've had, even though sometimes they come to an end. Man, this is a depressing secret area! How about this: From Zen Flesh Zen Bones: A Parable Buddha told a parable in a sutra: A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him. Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away the vine. The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted!This page is here to let you escape the secret area of the website. Keep that area a secret. But if you mention it to me on twitter I'd be interested to know that you made it in! [[Welcome]] [[Courtesy Page]]See You in Fahlstaff is a full cast anthology "radio play" podcast! You can hear it <a href="http://www.fahlstaff.com" target="_blank">here</a>. [[Thanks.]] Return to [[Who]] Ian is.